Beauty is in the eye of the beholder..

It's no secret that I love tattoos. If you can think of a word with more meaning, more power, to describe my adoration for tattoos, then imagine that. They are beautiful works of art you can place anywhere on your body. I'm not sure what's not to love.

Yes the idea of having some image or phrase on you permanently can be a tad intimidating. But personally, I have never been scared. My main defense against them has always been this - if you love something at a point in your life where you want it translated into a tattoo, what's there to be frightened about? Why wouldn't you want something that meant so much to you at one time to be on you forever? You only have one life, and you only get one chance to experience so many things. I have personally come to terms with the fact that I will not be 18, 20, 25, 30, and so on forever.

Significant other tattoos are clearly the exception. It's possible to defend a piece of artwork that is dedicated to your spouse, because a marriage and tattoos are supposed to last forever. I personally know someone divorced, with his ex-wife's name tattooed on his arm. He, oddly enough, does not regret it. They had a horrible ending to their marriage and years of pain to look back on, but 2 gorgeous children came out of it. He explains, "My ex-wife was such a huge part of my life, and I don't regret the decade I spent with her. Who would? Who wants to go through life regretting everything, all the memories? So someone assuming that I wish I could take back this tattoo is like them assuming I wish I could take back my children and my 20's."

I feel the same is with all tattoos.

 One Shot Tattoo
Irving St., San Francisco, CA

Photo by Yours Truly

Being a tattoo artist takes such skill and talent. I truly admire them, the ones I'm friends with more specifically, and in more ways than one. I live next to a tattoo shop, and it is still one of my favorite places to visit and be around. There are so many beautiful designs hanging on the wall, as you can see above. Don't even get me started on how inspired just walking in to that place makes me. But most importantly, the people that work there are the least judgmental and most eccentric people I know.

So you may ask, what tattoos do you have? I have three. My first I had done in January; a treble clef with music notes fading downward after, behind my ear.

My life has always revolved around music. I will always be a singer, which inspired the placement. Enough said.

A few months later I got the word 'Smile.' done on my wrist. It has personal meaning, and even years down the road when the reason why I got it fades from my memory, it will always be a nice reminder. A smile will always be life's most beautiful, simple accessory.

And lastly, my most prized possession, is the incredible phrase I have tattooed on my side. I'm sure you have all seen or heard of 'COEXIST', most commonly referred to as the 'bumper sticker'. But before the hip bumper sticker phase, it was created to mean that all religions and beliefs can live together in this world, harmoniously. I do not believe in hating others for how they want to live their lives, and especially not for their religious beliefs. I am an Atheist, I have been my entire life. I hate that I've grown up with the burden of being immediately judged or looked down upon for it. Honestly, to each his own. I long for the day when every race, religion, and sexual orientation can live together in this world without fear of being hated or discriminated against.

So here it is, and I love it with all my heart.

 

This was an hour after it was finished, so ignore the black bloody smears all over my body. It was 2 and a half hours of pure torture. I never knew something could hurt so badly, but I went in mentally prepared. Everyone, and I mean everyone, gave me the craziest looks when I told them where I wanted to get this done. Apparently, little had I known then, your side and more specifically your ribcage is the most painful spot to get a tattoo done. Before this I had thought it was your wrist. Before that, I had thought it was the thin skin behind your ear.

And they were all so, so worth it.

oh hey look, it's the story of my life.

Take me away..

La Manzanilla, Mexico

Or you could call it paradise.

I miss Mexico, so very much. And not the 5-star resort, unnaturally blue chlorine filled swimming pools, white linen towels, servers hand-delivering you faux margaritas, views of the Pacific Ocean from a hotel balcony Mexico. No, that is not real Mexico. I mean a small town, better yet village, deeply hidden in the deserted country side, hundreds of miles away from any sort of city. Where there are more Spanish families working hard for a dollar than tourists. I spent two weeks in La Manzanilla in April, and it was all of those things. It was fabulous.

As cliche as it sounds, it really is escaping reality.  Everything is so different and fresh, and not in a luxurious way. I loved that I had no cell-phone, no laptop, no way of really communicating with peers and family back home. Well, I may have not loved it at first, but hey, it takes a while to wind-down when you go on vacation.

I learned new things about a culture I had only read and heard about by word of mouth. I met people my age that were born and raised in the village, and they had a completely different outlook on life than I could ever imagine having. Here I was, escaping from my life in San Francisco, telling them about how stressful life in the city and working full-time can be.. And here they were, staring at me, hanging on my every word. So completely envious of my life and craving a full-time job. I wish these people were still in my life.

I also met a guy.. A man, really. A hard working server at the fanciest restaurant the village had to offer, and extremely good looking. I'm not one for Spanish men, so that's saying something. Dealing with the recent ending of a year and a half relationship, he reminded me what it feels like to  have those butterflies in your stomach, to have fun. His restaurant was right on the beach, and I would sneak off down by the water to catch his eye, clearly prompting him to be equally as sneaky and come steal a kiss. It was totally a movie fairy-tale.

That little romance ended when I found out he was married, and had two children. He was only 24, how was I to know? At least the memory will be there to look back on.. and smile about.

Moral of the story, I am in desperate need of another vacation. I want to escape from my reality, only to enter a whole new world with all new people in it.

And probably to make-out with a total stranger on the beach again; feet in the water, hands in the hair.

Meet the love of my life..

Stefani Germanotta
Lady Gaga
Mother Monster
An inspiration to anyone and everyone

Whether you like her music or not, whether you hate her outrageous gimmicks and costumes or not, there is no denying that this woman is a beautiful, talented human being. Her ability to build her name, career, and empire as much as she has in the past three years, since her first single was released, continues to take my breath away.

I will never say that I love everything Lady Gaga says or does; I don't think anyone can say that about anyone. At least not if they are being honest.
But, I have to admit, it's pretty damn close.

The lyrics to her song Speechless will always move me.

"..And I know that it's complicated, but I'm a loser in love so baby
Raise a glass to mend, all the broken hearts, of all my wrecked up friends."

The power in her voice when she sings every verse, the look on her face as she pounds the keys of a piano when she performs this song live. I am a singer. I know what real talent sounds like, and I know what is and is not easy. She is a real musician, and it will always bother me to my core when people verbally abuse her, for this reason alone. However. Beings I know my word is probably not enough to convince anyone, nor should I try to ramble on, if you're one of these said 'haters', watch this and get back to me -

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NM51qOpwcIM

Not only is her music beautiful and original, but her music videos.. Her performances! People forget that she is just that - a performer. And that her crazy costumes and deranged dance numbers are all part of her job as an entertainer. The fact that people crave so deeply for normality, and that anything different or unusual is only talked about in a negative light, truly makes me angry at society. But, what can you do?

The absolute most important and incredible reason that I love and adore Lady Gaga is her belief in Equality & Gay Rights. She has single-handedly pushed society's level of tolerance for the gay community light years ahead of what it was 10 years ago. (It is no secret that I believe in equal rights for all.. but that is a whole different blog post that I'm sure I'll conjure up soon.) She loves all of her fans, and truthfully everyone in general, and uses all of her influence to make others feel the same. If you don't find that beautiful, then I pity you.

She is an incredible, talented, original, loving person. An all-around inspiration for my life. I truly love her for all she has done so far in my generation.
So thank you.

xoxo

Yes. I strive to be happy. Yes, I love finding the beauty in everything.

But at the end of the day..

in the midst of a breakup, raising someone else's children, being broke,
and having no friends,

This is me.

            I do not claim to know everything, nor do I think I do. At least most days. I'm caring, witty, sarcastic, outgoing, and I try to find the beauty in almost everything. Which, I'll be honest, is hard because of how many things and people I cannot stand. But, as is in my nature, I would rather try to focus on the good instead of the bad.
           
            I'm 19 years old. I have spent my entire life living in the Pacific Northwest, all the while yearning to reside in a big city. I love being surrounded by diversity; being able to walk out my front door and never knowing what to expect. Having a million different things to do or experience at any possible moment. You can't get that in small, sheltered town in Washington State. I pride myself in leaving my family and friends to live in a place where there are more museums than McDonald's.
          
            I could write a book with all of the life I've lived so far; watching my mother go through four marriages, raising my three younger siblings (not including all of the steps, and halves, and quarters, and twice removed, ect.) while my mother was less than absent, having an abortion at 15 with my then high-school-sweetheart, working hard for every penny to my name, with no parental or family help. Ultimately raising myself. I'd say I've done an okay job, but hey, I may be biased.
           
            But I am well aware of how far I have yet to go. All I really know for certain is that if I can get through all I have with a smile on my face and witty commentary in my head, then I can easily keep it up.
          
            I have a passion for writing and beautiful photography, so here I am to make the life I live public. And put my uneducated passions to good (decent) use.